I’m probably committing sacrilege with every word in this post, but sticking my finger in the eye of conventional wisdom seems to be a ‘thing’ with me.
Skiffy Tube has begun its long anticipated re-run of the JJ Abrams wonder show LOST and I accidentally got drawn in to watching it.
I was not drawn in by the wonderousness of the show, nor was I captivated by the splendiferous acting of the ensemble cast. My experience was more like that of the extra who got sucked in to the turbine.
In other words, it literally sucked. And then it splashed bloody little fleshy pieces all over the landscape.
What initially attracted me was an incessant rising and falling jet engine whine. The TV was running in the other room (I rarely watch the bloody thing) and somehow it managed to find itself set to Skiffy Tube. I was finally annoyed enough to leave the keyboard. Once I realized that I had a chance to watch LOST from the beginning, I decided to leave it on and settled in to watch the first few episodes to see what all the moaning was about.
First I’ll say this. How the Sci Fi Channel expects to keep an audience with 4+ minutes of commercials between a scant ten minutes of program is way beyond my powers of intellectual analysis. First they turn off their core audience, then they blatantly ignore their new audience’s complete lack of attention span. WTF? Even I had trouble remembering what I was watching.
This kind of thing only makes sense if you assume that the SICs real plan is to run the channel into the ground. If I were an investor, I’d hire one of those forensic accountants and have him do some forensicing. This might be one of those Zero Mostel ‘Producers’ deals…
Anyway, to get back to LOST. Maybe I have just too damned much experience with movies, television shows and literature, but I found the whole thing A: boring, B: easily anticipated and C: stupid.
I will not be hanging on the edge of my seat to find out what happens next because I already know: the stereotyped characters will fulfill their roles as competent young doctor, snivelling coward, blonde bimbo, creepy guy, jolly fat man, cute young kid and such. They’ll all do stupid, non-sensical, panicky things, fights will break out when the action slows down and the fright moments will be telegraphed from ten miles away.
That this is what passes for a blockbuster television show from the creative genius savior of television drama reminds me, sadly, of the fact that television audiences get what they deserve and what they can handle. Which these days appears to be – not much.
Just a few examples from the first couple of episodes to illustrate my point:
The doctor, the Felon and the Drug Addict make their way the jet’s cockpit to retrieve the transceiver. There they discover the Pilot still alive and are menaced by the GIANT SHADOW. The Pilot, who could barely move, the one who’s been unconscious for 16 hours, STICKS HIS HEAD OUT THE BROKEN COCKPIT WINDOW and is, of course, immediately sucked out to oblivion, accompanied by screams and raining blood.
Don’t be embarrassed. Raise your hand if this took you by surprise. I knew the moment the pilot gasped his first fright-take gasp that he was a goner, and the moment I saw the broken cockpit window I knew he was gonna get sucked out of it. Double cliche. Boring.
THEN, everyone runs away from the comparative safety of the fuselage interior. Riiiiiiight. Call me a snivelling coward, but. When there is a giant shadow-thing lurking in the jungle and you’re inside a cave, stay in the cave. There was no compelling reason for the characters to leave. Sheer idiocy. Boring.
Later, the Muslim manages to repair the transceiver and there is much anxiety over a fading battery. Maybe this was some kind of oblique commentary on the bankruptcy of Muslim extremism or something, but I think it was just poor writing. If you can repair a transceiver, you can remove the battery or disconnect the leads. When the battery is disconnected, the little demons inside can’t get out. Dumb. Boring.
The battery thing put the capper on this show for me. If the survivors are that stupid, there’s no point in rescuing them. And no point in continuing to watch this poor excuse of a fantasy thriller.
Heroes is better, just like a comic book.
I think what made Lost a ratings winner is that the gen Xers or whoever is watching this show are so stupid they think it’s really more episodes of The Survivor reality show, another unwatchable program that they also loved. A bunch of losers stranded on a beach somewhere. The plot of Lost, if there is one, makes as much sense as a America’s Funniest Videos. Maybe less.
JJ Abrams the creator of Lost is another TV flash in the pan. He has fallen flat on his ass with Fringe now playing on the Fox network. Terrible reviews.
What you are disliking about Lost is the J J Abrams elements. He pretty much wrote the first half of the first season, which is essentially a very long thriller. Once Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof take the reins the show improves dramatically.
– izi
izi –
Lost is a continuous story, no? Things happen the the characters in the first half of the first season that play into things that happen later, yes?
I must therefore point out, reluctantly, that it is pointless to discuss how much ‘things improve’ later on, since if one wants to experience the improvement (which thought I am motivated by not one little twiddle), one must wade through the drek.
If LOST were an anthology show, your comment might prompt me to watch later episodes. If it were a series that literally started over with a new season the same would probably be true.
But in this case, since the show tells a continuous story in laborious, never-ending detail, I must decline the suggestion implied by your comment. LOST is drek and , so far as my viewing pleasure is concerned, it will stay lost.
Actaully after reading your post again I tend to agree with you. You wouldn’t enjoy the show at all, and I’d rather you (and people like you) didn’t watch the show. As Mr. Whalen said above, Lost is created for us stupid Gen Xers, definately not for you.
Us youngens will continue to obsess over the twists and mythology of the show, and you can go back to watching Flash Gordon or the old BSG show or whatever old sci-fi fans watch.
– izi
izi –
just the kind of response one comes to expect from still wet behind the ears, snot-nosed idgits like you.
Us ‘oldsters’ like to watch (when we watch*) any kind of show that has decent writing, decent acting, a comprehensible story line (that is at least somewhat compelling) and that makes an effort to present itself in a logical and coherent fashion.
Unlike the gen Xers you seem to want to represent who’ll apparently settle for just about anything.
*that does presuppose that we ‘watch’ tv. Most of us actually prefer to read or create our own stuff. It’s more intellectually stimulating and takes more committment than an hour’s time.
You’re welcome back any time – just make sure to stay on the path. I get kinda cranky when kids skateboard through my flower bed.
(Try watching some of the “old” stuff – you might not be as satisfied with your beloved gen X fodder, but you’d certainly be better educated.)
I tried Heroes…O.K., but not as good as the hype. And a lot of people who liked the first season seem to have dropped it with the second season. Ouch!
Lost? I think the B-movies of the 1950’s did it better. If this is the man who will save genre television..yawn.
Back to the books. Back to the books. The vast wasteland just keeps getting vaster.
Amen Fred.
I almost kind of feel sorry for someone who’s that easily entertained. Almost.
When was the last time you were surprised by the ‘person getting sucked out of the only opening by the unseen monster’ schtick?
We’ll have to part ways on this one, COF, because I’m one of those Lost addicts.
Predictable? After four seasons, fans still haven’t been able to figure out the central mystery behind the island. If anything, the show is sometimes frustrating for its unending mystery and UNpredictability.
And once again, you frame this as a generational issue; but I know sf fans of all ages who love the show.
Yeah there’s a lot of garbage on tv these days; but this is not an example of it.
Much as I like sci-fi, at least to a point, I’ve felt very out of the loop over the last few years. I’ve had zero interest in Lost, and though I watched the pilot of Heroes, it bored me to tears and had huge flaws, so I never went back for more. Haven’t much cared for Torchwood either.The less said about Bionic Woman the better.
*sigh* I guess I’ll just have to stick to Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica, on those rare occasions when the Sci-Fi Channel decides to actually show it.
Bill,
you didn’t address the plot BS issues I raised. If things are so unbelievable as to have a military communications specialist not realize he could remove the batteries from the radio to save them from draining – WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT THE ISLAND MYSTERY IS!
Whatever it is, it won’t be believable, or plausible – or careable.
And I didn’t initially frame this as a ‘generational’ dealio – I framed it as a poor quality issue. Izi was the one who brought up the age factor.
Chris,
you’re not the only one…
Dude, cool post, DID YOU NOTICE that the pilot who got sucked out the window was actually “Matt” from heroes ???
but still don’t dismiss lost altogether jsut yet, it has it’s moments and plays the whole thing off quite well, check out some of the back series and take a weekend just catching up, but i’d serisouly recoomend giving it a chance…. here’s a link for episodes: http://www.btzip.org/search.php?s=lost&t=mininova
thanks for the cool post, and honest opinon 🙂
Bruce…
You’ve probably given me another blog subject, so thanks for that. I’ll try to summarize here in response to your comment:
It is pointless for me to ‘take a week to catch up’, since the show revealed itself for what it is in those first episodes.
Like I said to Izi, since this is an episodic show, and everything that happens later is based on what went before, the entire thing is built on illogicality, unbelievable characters and idiocy.
If the fuselage half everyone ran out of in panic had caught fire, or was in danger of falling off a cliff – I might have bought that scene. I’d still be bothered by the fact that not one of the characters said ‘ummm, do you really think it’s a good idea to go outside when that thing is out there’?
But that’s minor compared to issues created by the fact that not one of the characters remembered that removing batteries from an electronic device saves the battery life.
I hate to keep on coming back to that stupid point, but that IS the point. The show wants me to care about a bunch of clueless idiots, and after those opening episodes, that’s all the characters will ever be to me. I can’t believe anything they do or say and can’t get motivated to care.
As for noticing who the pilot was played by: dude. I don’t follow ‘actors’. Worshipping at the feet of a thespian is not part of science fiction fandom as far as I’m concerned. If they can act, that’s all that really matters. THEY are not the story.
“Monsters, John! Monsters from the Id!”
I think we need Robbie to make some ‘mash’ for us…
As I recall, Plan A was for the doctor to get eaten by a monster I strongly suspect I last saw at the end of Deep Rising but for some reason they decided to keep Jack around.
The Doctor. Oy Vey.
He picks an assistant who tells him “I’m not good with blood” – and then when the overweight assistant faints and collapsed onto the patient – nothing.
He’s got patients all over the place, but instead of following his oath, he goes gallivanting all over the place.
And it took him a whole DAY!?! to get around to suggesting that the luggage should be searched for all available medical supplies.
(And they leave his most seriously injured patient exposed to the rain…)
And…
James – I think Plan A was to kill the show after the making of the pilot…
Well it’s been a long time now since I watched the first season, so you have me at a slight disadvantage. I’ll agree, though, on general principle, that the show has its flaws, because most shows do have flaws of the type you’re nitpicking at. But Lost also has a great sense of mystery and adventure and bizarre, inexplicable happenings, and I love that. For me the pros outweigh the cons; for you they don’t. No problem. 🙂
On the radio thing: it’s been too long for me to remember the exact scenes you’re referring to. I do remember something about using the radio to listen for possible signals from passing ships; I also remember something about using it to trace a radio signal on the island. You can’t really do those things if you remove the battery.
Bill, I’m only kidding here, but, if I want to watch ‘bizarre and mysterious things’ on television, all I have to do is tune in to Fox News…
Most radios – especially hand-helds and most especially those used for emergency purposes have removable, replaceable batteries (at least one would hope that airlines would be smart enough to NOT use plug-in rechargers, since in the circumstances they’d be employed in, there’s a good change that no recharger will be available/working)
anyway – the idea here was to SAVE THE BATTERY. If leaving it in the radio drains it (a minor short in the system or a constantly running warm-up circuit), the only way to insure that power remains for when you do want to use the radio is to disconnect it.
SMART survivors in those circumstances would limit their listening to once or twice a day (maybe once every 6 hours depending on their estimate of battery life/usage) and they wouldn’t transmit unless they received a signal.
I will admit that each individual gripe is relatively petty – but taken as a whole they mount up to careless writing.
I didn’t suggest that EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD MUST SHARE MY OPINION (sure would make things easier…).
If we all shared your opinion, then all those late-night bull sessions would have been the endless droning of yes men…